Before I became a parent, I “knew” my kids would always be well-behaved, never fight with each other, and not ask the same questions over and over. And over.
Here’s a list of things I never knew I’d have to tell my kids:
- “Because I said so.” Answering the incessant “why?” from both my big kids.
- “We don’t touch our poop, do we?” Changing a two-year-old’s diaper.
- “No wrestling at the library.” Peach just really likes to wrestle.
- “TT, get your fingers out of your mouth, get your fingers out of your mouth. Don’t bite your fingernails. Also, don’t pick your nose ’cause it’s really, really acky and I just don’t like it.” I made up a song to help him remember.
- “You’re four now. I’m not helping you put on your shoes.” And no more sippy cup either. He’s four, people.
- “Stop eating things off the floor!” Vanilla is really advanced when it comes to fine motor skills.
- “Our kids look homeless today. Sorry.” To my honey, after letting the kids play outside with juice-stained jammies on.
- “No more Family Guy!” Had to nip that in the bud once TT started repeating things.
- “If you potty on the potty chair, you can have some soda.” Yes I believe in bribery for potty training. It works. Don’t judge me…
- “You have to wear pants when you play outside. It’s the rule.” That is the rule. No pants, no going outside.